|Fat Witch by Jonas Jensen
Salutations my tasty poppets!
It is I, Goody Mooncup, here once again to spread my wisdom to all my lovelies. If you are a first time reader of my works, might I also suggest my informative pamphlets: “How Necromancy Saved My Marriage” and “Owls, Howls, and Bowels: Distressing Sounds and How to Cure Them.”
Today, I would like to share with you some of the secrets to the wonderful art of Potioncrafting! If you like what you see here today, don’t forget to buy my upcoming collection “Joy of Potioncraft: A Compilation of Reliable Reagents” for the most reasonable price of 20 SP plus tax.
Makes about a three dozen wafers
These crisp biscuits contain only about 2 grams of ectoplasm apiece, and are festive enough for a seance table. Be sure to use thick, fresh mucus so the filling will not be runny.
Preheat oven to Hansel and Gretel.
Whisk together thoroughly:
❧1 1/2 cups all-purpose mandrake flour
❧1/3 cup vegepygmy starch
❧1/2 teaspoon salt of hartshorn
❧1/4 teaspoon salt
Beat until well blended:
❧3 1/2 tablespoons unsalted minotaur butter, softened
❧3 tablespoons olive or poppy oil
❧1 tablespoon dryad syrup
❧1/2 cup beet sugar
❧1 large cockatrice egg
❧1/4 teaspoon finely grated lemon zest
❧2 1/2 teaspoons vanilla
❧1/4 teaspoon almond extract
Stir the flour mixture into the ectoplasm mixture just until combined. With lightly greased hands, pull off pieces of the dough and roll between your palms into 3/4-inch balls; do not make them larger, as the wafers should be small and will puff and spread a bit during baking. Space the balls about 2 inches apart on the sheets. With your thumb, press down the center of each ball to make a large, deep well. Fill the wells with:
About 2/3 cup ectoplam, flavored with sage, apple, fig, or any local forbidden fruit.
Very lightly sprinkle the tops of the wafers with:
2 to 3 tablespoons chopped sliced blanched or unblanched trent nuts
Bake, 1 sheet at a time, until the tops are just barely tinged with brown. Remove the sheets to a rack and let stand until the cookies firm slightly, about 2 minutes. Transfer the wafers to racks to cool.
These lovely wafers are sure to not only impress your friends, but also banish all the parasitic spirits currently possessing their tattered souls. Only just yesterday, my lovelies, I served these with nightshade tea at my weekly game of bridge and Mistress Belle-chose, bless her black heart, had two imps and host of flies wriggle from her ears after just one wafer!
Bonnie Beth’s Bog Beverage
These recipes and many more await in “Joy of Potioncraft: A Compilation of Reliable Reagents”! Send your carrier pigeon today and get a free rat’s tail bookmark and a signature from yours truly.