OSR: Really Angry Goose

Oh shit!

So nearly three years ago, Arnold K. posted about a class called the Really Good Dog. In the game I’m currently running, my wife is playing one and is having a helluva good time with it. She said to me that I should get to work on creating the exact opposite of a Really Good Dog for her to play, once her character inevitably dies. The first thing that came to mind was a Really Angry Goose. God help us.

Class: Really Angry Goose
Starting Equipment: A Bad Attitude, Serrated beak and tongue (that’s right a serrated tongue)
Starting Skill: d3 1= Pissed Goose 2= Enraged Goose 3=Furious Goose

You gain +1 HP per Really Angry Goose Template and +1 Attack every two.

A: Goose, Worst Enemy
B: Bite, Hiss, +1 Attack
C: Feather Fluff, Fly-By-Attack
D: Wing Buffet, Rage Flock, +1 Attack

Goose: You can’t hold things in your hands. You can’t climb ropes or ladders. Your Movement is 8 (Human Movement is 12) but if you have 50′ to take off you can fly at Movement 20. Your bite attack deals 1d6+STR damage. Your feathers give you +2 defense as though you had armor, but take up no Inventory slots. You have half as many Inventory Slots as usual. You do not start with any items. You always know where magnetic North is.  You can understand the words of your fellow PCs and those that your fellow PCs are talking to but if you are interacting with NPCs alone, you are pretty certain everything is an insult.  You understand partially Common, but cannot speak it.  You speak Goose fluently.

You’re an amazingly intelligent goose: roll Int normally, but be aware that this is goose Intelligence, and isn’t suitable for all things.  For example, you can spot a trap, count coins, or remember a location you haven’t been to in years.  However you’ll never understand concepts like friendship or altruism.

Worst Enemy: Pick a fellow PC that you hate beyond measure. As long as that PC has HP damage, you gain +1 Attack and Defense. This choice is permanent until that PC dies or the GM says otherwise.

Bite: You can bite your Worst Enemy dealing normal bite damage. You heal HP equal to damage done.

Hiss: You may Hiss a number of times per day equal to your template. This works as a Fear spell cast with a number of Magic die equal to your template

Feather Fluff: You may fluff your feathers to appear less threatening. A single target must save or see you as a non-threatening target. Targets who save cannot be affected by this ability for 24 hours. Taking a threatening action breaks this effect.

Fly-By-Attack: If you are in flight or in the process of take off, you may make an attack roll on an opponent who must save or be knocked prone. Save. vs. Dex to remain aloft.

Wing Buffet: Whenever you make a critical hit on an opponent with your bite, you may launch into their face and buffet them with your wings. The opponent is blinded for 1d6+1 rounds.

Rage Flock: If you spend a day near to a body of water, you can recruit a flock of geese who are less angry than you, but still pretty mean. You attract 1d6+1 1 HP Geese and gain an amount of HP and STR equal to the number of geese attracted. Damage done to you affects the Flock first, reducing your HP and Strength per Goose killed.

You came to the wrong pond buddy.

Really Angry Goose Notes:
Multiclass with Skerple’s Many Goblins for maximum effect. Multiclass with Many Goblins and Really Good Dog to get Fly Away Home. This is silly and awful, I hope you love it.

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