Oh fuck, they’re everywhere!



ITS TIME FOR MORE PRINCES! Thanks Blame James from Ten Foot Polemic for most of these Prince’s names

Ready for his 82nd chip run today.



HD 1 Prince of Chips

Appearance
: A knee height fat yellow man with tiny legs, smells of grease and potatoes. 
Wants: To ensure quality of all foods that are potato based and fried and referred to as Chips.
Armour: None
Move: 1/2 Normal
Morale: 4
Damage: See below

Grease Trail: PoC leaves a trail of grease in its wake. Anyone who moves more than half speed within 15′ of PoC must save or slip and fall prone. PoC can also flop on the ground and become prone, but slide like a greasy penguin at 2x Normal movement.

Make Delicious: PoC can produce a variety of flavors that increase the deliciousness of whomever it touches. Whenever PoC makes an unarmed melee attack (1d4 damage) the target is covered in a dusting of a flavoring agent of PoC’s choosing. This causes hungry creatures to focus on the flavored target over other targets. PCs who are starving must Save to avoid attempting to eat the target. 

The Prince of Chips lives a dual life. On one hand, the Prince rules over all potatoes that have been julienned and fried in grease. On the other hand, the Prince rules of all potatoes that have been sliced exceptionally thin and fried in grease. Some people have taken to calling the Prince, The Prince of Fries AND Chips, but a Prince can’t be a Prince over two things. And the Prince isn’t the Prince over all Fried Potatoes, trying to claim that got it into a fight with the Prince of Tater Tots.  Poor Prince of Chips. Killing PoC and taking its crown will give a PC the Make Delicious ability for 1d6 Weeks, but also make them obese and half their Movement for the same length of time.

Encounter: PoC has heard of a land that puts the most outlandish toppings on chips, but is too lazy to go investigate themselves. Bring PoC back some exotic chips and be rewarded with their weight in either lard or potatoes, their choice.

Encounter: PoC has been experimenting with a new flavor, however the experiment has gone out of control. Defeat and eat the Chip Golems before they wreak havoc on the countryside. Save Vs. Con to keep them down. 

Compensating for something I’m sure.



HD 3 Prince of Itches

Appearance
: A purple humanoid whose body can fit in your hand, but whose head is about a meter tall. Constantly surrounded by a small cloud of dust. 
Wants: To ensure that things that need to be itchy are itchy, even if the reason for the itch isn’t immediately obvious.
Armour: None
Move: Normal
Morale: 6

Damage: See below

Itchy Defense: PoI is entirely without armor, however striking it will cause an cloud of allergens to spray at the attacker. Any attacker in melee range must Save (vs. Con or Poison or whatever) or become incredibly itchy. Itchy targets inverse their Defense as it would be on a d20, so someone with 20 Def will have 1 Def and so on. This only functions on targets with 10 Def and up, although 10 Def (and therefore unarmored) targets are easily able to reach the itch and therefore still have 10 Def. 

Itchy Offense: By striking targets with its head, PoI causes terrible itchy blisters to form. This deals 1d6 damage and the target must Save (vs. Con or Poison or whatever). On failure, the target must drop whatever is held in one hand and scratch for a number of rounds equal to the damage dealt. A second attack during this time will stack and on another failed save the target must scratch with both hands.

The Prince of Itches is one of the least popular Princes. I mean, PoI tries, really. But no on ever invites PoI to parties or to meetings or even to funerals. Even the Prince of Cucumber Sandwiches gets invited to things. But despite this unpopularity, Itchy takes pride in their work. Creating the light itch causes by fabric moving across your back or the intense frustrating itch of chicken pox or that moving itch that seemingly has no cause and no way to actually scratch. PoI does have one friend, the Prince of Scratching, who is the only Prince who know just where on PoI’s massive head to scratch. Defeating PoI and taking its crown gives you its Itchy Defense ability for 1d6 weeks, but also makes you so itchy that one hand is counted as disabled (due to constantly need to scratch) for the same period.

Encounter: A village is plagued by an awful itching disease and no one seems to know how or why it begun. Rough up PoI to find out what happened and how to fix it.

Encounter: A Wizard has put PoI into a magical sleep and is using the poor Prince as a Wand of Infinite Itchiness to harass the countryside. Do what you must.

Dare you enter the magic box?!



HD 5 Prince of Whispers

Appearance
: A square humanoid about the size of a large cat, its head is actually a lid and its face is on the inside of the lid. Much bigger on the inside than the outside.
Wants: To protect secrets spoken aloud. 
Armour: As Chain
Move: Normal
Morale: 8
Damage: See below

Limited Silence: Anything within 30′ of PoW is unable to speak above a very light whisper. Verbal communication is impossible without being directly up against someone’s ear. Ability that work via sound can only work in melee range. This ability is constant and cannot be saved against. 

Box of Secrets: Every 1d6 rounds, PoW can try to suck one target within 30′ into its box-body. The target must make a Dex or Strength save with a 1 point bonus for every point of encumbrance they currently have (harder to suck in heavier targets). On a failed save, the target is consumed by PoW and falls into a misty void filled with whispering voices. The target is stuck until PoW lets them free, PoW is killed, or the target whispers aloud one sufficiently damning personal secret.

Whispered Sins: PoW knows all things whispered, and some things whispered are extremely dangerous. PoW can whisper, it can whisper a secret so horrific that those who hear it can feel their brains violently rejecting it. Anyone within PoW’s zone of Limited Silence must save (Vs. Wisdom or Wand or something) or take 2d6 damage as their ears bleed and their mind reels. PoW can only whisper a damaging secret every 1d6 rounds. 

The Prince of Whispers may look absurd, even compared to other Princes, but Whispers is one of the more serious of the royal cousins. Everything angry muttering said under one’s breath, every sweet nothing whispered into an ear, every quiet and solemn oath given, these are the protected domain of PoW, who keeps them safely stored within its royal body. A lesser being would undoubtedly use this secret knowledge for self-gain, but PoW is only interested in hoarding and protecting its whispers. You can potentially trade PoW for its whispers, but you must first whisper to it something of equal value, something that has been thought, said, or yelled, but never whispered. Defeating PoW and taking its crown gives you both the Limited Silence and Whispered Sins abilities, but you and all those within range are affected by the Whispered Sins ability every time you speak. You can only give up this power by spending a full day whispering into a box, without pausing for sleep or food, transforming the box into the Prince of Whispers.

Encounter: The obvious one is that you seek out the Prince of Whispers to gain some sort of secret knowledge to defeat your enemies. The not so obvious one is that you seek out the Prince of Whispers to find out what Steve from the office is constantly muttering to himself…weirdo. 

Encounter: The whole party has been swallowed by the PoW! Navigate a labyrinth of mists, memories, and made-up monsters and find a way to escape!

Look at that little guy go!



HD 7 Prince of Disco

Appearance
: A palm sized matte-black humanoid covered in shimmering colorful stars, constantly breaking out into dance. A constant catchy beat seems to always be playing nearby. 
Wants: To ensure that disco never dies.
Armour: Chain+Shield, from being very agile
Move: 2x Normal
Morale: 8, 12 when defending Disco
Damage: See below

Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting: PoD is a powerful combatant on its own and can strike for 1d6 or 1d8 damage (its choice) unarmed.

Boogie Baby!: All creatures capable of movement and hearing within 60′ of PoD must save (vs. Wisdom or Magic or something) or break out into dance. While dancing, the target is unable to move from their space and have their Attack and Defense modified as though they were Blinded. Targets may make a save each round to resist the Boogie. This ability is constant, so folks wanting to talk with PoD without dancing probably need to yell from a distance.

DISCO NEVER DIES: If truly threatened, PoD will raise a horde of dancing zombies to defend itself once per encounter. Roll 2d6, PoD raises that number of 1 HD Zombies to its aid OR maybe invest all the HD into a single Dance Partner, which is any type of stronger undead with equal HD. Assume they all dance Thriller amazingly. 

The Prince of Disco, one of the many children of the King of Dance, swears up and down that disco never died. This can be jarring for fantasy medieval folks who never knew Disco was a thing in the first place. PoD can often be found in clubs, at skating rinks, and at the epicenter of worrisome dancing plagues in France. Disco claims to be the next in line to claim the King of Dance’s crown one day, but the Prince of Breakdancing and the Prince of Square Dancing both dispute this. Defeating PoD gives you the Boogie Baby! ability and the DISCO NEVER DIES ability, however you cannot suppress the former ability and there is a 1-in-6 chance any undead raised will be hostile to you. To rid yourself of this crown, you must be beaten in a dance contest fair and square. If you do anything less than your best dance, save vs. Death or have PoD burst from your chest take over your pitiful dancing attempt.

Encounter: The Dancing Plague has come to town and the villagers elders are starting to get annoyed with all these young people and their antics. Convince PoD to leave town to please the elderly. Or teach those old coots how to live a little.

Encounter: A dancing mummy breaks into the inn that the PC’s are at, moaning about their dance partner being kidnapped. The mummy says they are going to dance with people until they find a good replacement. Save PoD from its kidnappers before Disco Mummy infects everyone with Mummy Rot. 

PoLT using the Least effective weight loss tool.



HD 9 Prince of Least Things

Appearance
: A fuzzy black humanoid about the size of your average dust bunny. 
Wants: To watch over everything that is considered “least” in some form or another.
Armour: None
Move: Special
Morale: 12
Damage: See below


Least Possible Effort: PoLT does not use weapons and only attacks unarmed, doing 1 point of damage per strike.

Path of Least Resistance: Defense gained via armor simply does not function against attacks made by PoLT.

Least Common Denominator: Once per encounter, PoLT can cause all creatures within 120′ to have their Max HP reduced to that of the HP of the creature with the least Max HP. Save (vs. Save or Death or something) to resist.

The Least I Could Do: When feeling generous, PoLT can grant a beneficial effect identical to any spell of the DM’s choosing, but only as cast with 1 MD because PoLT really does just put in the least effort possible.


Least Distance Between: PoLT does not move on its own, instead PoLT can open a wormhole and teleport between any point. PoLT is limited to 120′ when in combat unless it takes 2 rounds to concentrate, otherwise PoLT has no teleportation limits. 

The Prince of Least Things domain crawls along the bottom of all the other ones, enveloping of each the least powerful, the least helpful, the least anything. The things that are so lacking in their fulfillment of their domain, that they are hardly in it in the first place, find their abode with the PoLT. Because of this, PoLT is surprisingly and paradoxically powerful, being one of the greatest of the Princes. The Prince of Greatest Things often acts like a well meaning but “rough love” inspired older brother, but the two of them are more or less equals. After all the Prince of Greatest Things needs to go through the Greatest Resistance and put in the Greatest Effort while PoLT has to do hardly anything at all. Defeating PoLT and taking his crown gives you all of his abilities, but you must roll under your wisdom each day or be consumed with a completely disabling lethargy. A week of failed throws causes you to wilt and shrink until you become The Prince of Least Things.

Encounter: The Lich Emperor has made their phylactery into the smallest, most minuscule grain of sand in the world and hidden it in a great desert. PoLT knows exactly where it is.

Encounter: A boy who was voted the Least Likely to Succeed has taken the crown of PoLT somehow and is causing havoc in the village. You must somehow make the boy succeed at something meaningful to stop him. This is difficult because he’s a complete moron. 

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