Created by request of a certain yellow shark on the OSR discord.
Class: Very Normal Potato
Starting Equipment: A small clay pot with some soil, ALTERNATIVELY a pinch of salt and a pat of butter
Starting Skill: 1. Growing Eyes 2. Getting Moldy 3. Tasting Delicious
Potato: You can’t hold things. You can’t climb ropes or ladders. Your Movement is 0 (Human Movement is 12) but if you are rolled down a hill your Movement is 15. You can be thrown with enough force to deal 1d6 damage. You have armor as leather for being small and unassuming. You have no inventory slots. You are worth one ration. If left out in the sun and allowed to turn green, you are toxic to humanoids, causing severe diarrhea . You can power a single lightbulb or a simple clock. One member of the party is absolutely convinced that you are a valid member of the party and speaks for you. You are unable to communicate and it is very likely you are unable to perceive the world around you.
Poe-tay-toe: A party member has poked sticks into your sides to simulate limbs and drew a little face on your “front.” You are still a potato. The party member can make a charisma check at a -4 penalty to attempt to convince others that you are a valid individual. They introduce you as Mr/Mrs. Spudnoggin.
POTATO: When two or more creatures capable of speech witness you for the first time together, they must Save vs. Int or quibble about the correct pronunciation of Potato. They have advantage on check if the situation is obviously threatening (combat, an obvious trap etc)
Poe-tat-oh: You have sprouted. When planted and tended carefully, you will produce 10 more Potatoes in about 70 days. An alchemist or wizard might speed that process or cause you to mutate into something terrible, like a carrot. If you are not planted, you grow steadily more toxic for consumption. Anyone eating you in this state must make 3 consecutive saves within 10 minutes. Vs. Poison or have severe nausea, failing that Save vs. Paralysis or be paralyzed, failing that Save vs. Death or die.
5 thoughts on “GLOG Class: A Very Normal Potato”
I'm glad someone recognizes my genius.
The next logical step would be a "Sack of Potatoes" class.
It was funny. Thank you.
Nah you multiclass with many goblins to become "Many Potatoes". Just watch out for knives, oil and pans, otherwise you'll be up chip creek.
I was literally going to reply with that Spwack but for some reason I can never comment from my phone.