I was going to make a play report for the live GLOG stuff I’ve been playing but I’ve not been in the right mind place to write it all up yet. It is nominally another Tomb of the Serpent Kings play through in what is essentially a take on Arnold K’s Eldritch Americana. However after only going a little ways into the tomb, my players decided to head back to town for plans, supplies, and misadventures. We’ve spent the last three sessions in town and they are enjoying themselves so much that I’m afraid they won’t leave. Here’s a quick overview.



  • Mayor Godfrey Burp, sentient gas-based lifeform from another dimension, inhabits a deep sea diving suit, will do anything to be re-elected, wants to turn the local snakeman tombs into tourist attraction.

  • Assistant Mayor Parry-Parry-Lunge– An épée  swerda stuck in a tall, thin androgynous body, wears a variety of fancy hats. Can’t talk, but is really good at charades.

  • Katrina Van Tassel– Burp’s Blemmyes secretary. Pince nez glasses, feathery hat, crows feet. Breeds Schnappshunds, 700 lb alcoholic bat-dog-camel beasts.


The Tagaq River, infested with Walrus.

The Rock: Fell from the Moon when it hatched, the cause of the crater. About 5 stories tall, City Hall is built in front of it. 


  • University Extension Office– Underwhelming, run by Theo Finch, a twitchy man who mostly runs tests and numbers for the main campus. Believes in Sneeple. No students currently here. Building has a few temporary bedrooms, a testing room, and four temporary professor offices. Dr. Azoth, Chemistry, Dr. Drenan, Archaeology, Dr. Gilead, Medicine, Dr. N. T. Bang, Public Speaking.

  • The Galvanic Shrine of Edidon: Power Plant, Ardents of Edison take shifts turning The Great Amber Wheel to produce electricity. Mother Ion leads the congregation. 

  • The Chamber of Commerce/Tourism Board: Desperately trying to bolster the town into something more than it is, currently just made it into an iffy tourist trap.

  • Rook’s Hashish Lounge- A hookah bar run by Roland Rook, a crowperson cowboy. Doesn’t really know what Hashish is, just stuffs random herbs into waterbongs and sees what happens.

  • Crooner’s Saloon: A Karaoke bar, owner is notoriously bad at singing. Drinks are great though. Deaf Dan is here, so is Boblin the Goblin, Halifax the Thief-King, various students. Bartender is Petey the Parrot

  • Cafe de la Lune: Near to townhall and the Rock, a cafe filled with small tables, chairs, checkers, outside seating and nearly no customers right now. Coffee comes from network of brass tubes and steamworks that take up most of the ceiling and the wall behind the counter. Run by married pair of scarab headed women, (Totally Khepri)

  • Ma Lubbik’s Five and Dime: General store with most general goods you might need. Ma Lubbik wares exceptionally thick glasses and has homemade boiled sweets at the counter. Carries basic guns and ammunition. Keeps a secret stock of dynamite.

  • The People Place: A temp hiring agency. Currently has a few students, a handful of roughnecks, The Mysterious Friend, and others. No staff, there is a coin operated tube that drops a lottery ball indicating who is available. 

  • The Water Shop: Sells various waters, the owner is a Vodyanoy named Bolotnik, and sits in a bathtub in the middle of the store.

  • See No Evil: Shop is completely dark, sells mildly cursed trinkets. Owner is exceptionally ugly, 

  • Pawn Shop: Run by a trio of Mandrills, Marley, Harley, and Barley. The three of them are colored Gold, Silver, and Bronze.  

  • Land Office: Currently selling plots of land, includes novelty plots of land on the moon, Mars, and Opponent Earth.staffed by Norbert Stroud who is…uncomfortably attentive.

  • Tame Mimic Shop: Sells “tame” mimics that come in various forms. Current popular model is “Wooden Chair”.” Whole store is actually a mimic. Owner is Miss Faux, who is actually a mimic and the entire store.

  • The Sounds Shop: Sells sounds on wax cylinders, owner is made of wax, talks through photographs. Mr. Fin, sort for Paraffin. Some cylinders contain spells, curses, or both.

  • Telegraph Office: Next to Sounds Shop, Telegrapher has fractal hands and too many ears. No mouth. Fifty cents for a 10 word message from coast to coast.

  • Tinkerer/Blacksmith: Jackie Pulpit, mostly does farrier work but can handle custom jobs and tinkers with specialty guns.

Encounter Table, Road between Craterton and Anywhere Else

1-6 Bandits

7. Many Legged Walrus

8. Springchicken

9. Gifthorse

10. Roadhog

11. Scapegoat

12. Swarm of Wild Manikins

13. Skeleton Jelly

14. Goddamn Goblins

15. Swerda

16. Humsloth

17. Novelty Zombie

18. Boneneedle Man

19. Maenads

20. Troll 50% Metastasized

Liked it? Take a second to support TheLawfulNeutral on Patreon!
Become a patron at Patreon!

One thought on “Craterton

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.