5d20 Petty Villager Squabble Generator

 

Three gigantic, monstrous devils revel in watching a human battle

D20 The ______ Wronged me by _____ And they ____ So I demand _____ You _____
1 Abbot/Abbess Catcalling me Are a werewolf A public whipping! Addled Cur!
2 Baker Cavorting with Fairies Are different from us A stockading! Beef-Witted Louse!
3 Blacksmith Cheating at cards Are possessed by a demon A weregild! Churlish stampcrab!
4 Brewer Coveting my cabbages Are three goblins in a trenchcoat Confess publicly! Donkey Eared Whoreson
5 Butcher Cursing my child Bathe every day Their hand be cut off! Eater of Broken Meats!
6 Farmer Drying up my cows Dance naked in the moonlight They be catapulted into the wilderness! Liar-Liar Pants on Fire!
7 Gong Farmer Getting my dog pregnant Didn’t reciprocate oral sex They be handled over to the church! Meanie-Face!
8 Grocer Giving me the evil eye Dress in weird clothes They be hobbled! Misbegotten Cretin!
9 Haberdasher Giving me the Pox Farted on the Sabbath They be imprisoned forever! Obnoxious Wandought!
10 Hermit Gossiping about my fidelity Fed my goat magic mushrooms They be stoned! Pig-smelling Quisby!
11 Mason Insulting my honor Frighten my children They be thrown into The Pit! Pox Ridden Knave!
12 Mayor Overcharging me Left dirty linens in my house to make rats They be thrown into the river! Saddle-Goose!
13 Merchant Pissing in the well Revealed their genitals to me They complete three impossible tasks! Screaming Pisswizard!
14 Miller Praying harder than me Secrete foul miasmas They eat shit and die! Sheep Sarding Salamander!
15 Minstrel Reanimating my poor dead Nana Spoiled the ending of the Mystery Play They marry my useless child! Thrice-Damned Arseclown!
16 Rat-Catcher Saying No-no Words Stole my magic beans They wash my feet! Toad-Spawned Wastrel!
17 Soldier Screwing my sheep Tempted me with heretical thoughts To do to them what they did to me! Two-Faced Cockwomble!
18 Tailor Shitting on my stoop Treat with suspicious folk Trial by Bees? Weasel-Blowing Bastard!
19 Tanner Stealing my baby Turned me into a newt Trial by combat! Whiffle-Waffling Lubberwort!
20 Tinker Stealing my spouse Were doing math Trial by fire! Wolf-Suckled Shitstain
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