- The dog in the street is very concerned for your safety. They ask if you are alright.
- The answer all along was in your heart. You will not survive the extraction process.
- There was never a Phantom in the Paris Opera House. No, the walls are crawling with the ghouls of former directors.
- “It takes one to know one,” is not a valid come back to one’s doppelgänger.
- The feeling of being followed is a glitch in your proprioception. You are being followed, by your detached sense of self.
- If you open a box of crackerjacks and there is no prize, the prize is your chance to live another day.
- Masks allow a spirit to temporarily inhabit your body. Mascots completely replace you.
- Cats have nine lives because they have nine lifetimes worth of karmic debt to repay.
- We don’t get as many people these days getting controlled by their True Name. That’s because the Second Tongue has become an atavismic trait.
- White Angelo-Saxon Protestants actually are wasps. Don’t ask.
- A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, three in the steeple, four on a cliff, and exactly nine and three quarters on the corner of Ashland and Folsom.
- Did you know there is a fucking Christmas Spider? Holy shit.
- Cabinets and mirrors leading to distant lands is the result of future FTL drives poking holes in the fabric of space/time.
- If we lived long enough, eventually our Courage and our Power teeth will grow in.
- There’s a hole in the bottom of the sea, there’s a hole in the bottom of the sea, there’s a hole…There’s…a…hole. A. HOLE
- **slaps hood** If you think Impossible Colors like Stygian Blue are impressive, just wait until you see the Forbidden Colors. Hermetic Jade is all the rage!
- 5G isn’t causing COVID. 5G is causing murder hornets.
- It isn’t the caffeine that keeps you awake, it is the psychological burden of the farming practices that got that coffee to you that keeps you awake. That is why free-trade coffee doesn’t work as well.
- Children the light of your life. No, literally, what’s left in you is embers.
- Scientists have discovered and isolated gender fluid. It tastes like Fanta Grape.
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One thought on “20 Weird Things From The Top Of My Head”
Seeing these regularly pop up in discord was a treat and now the compilation even more so. Love this sort of Unknown Armies stuff.