SEND IN THE CLOWNS

D2 Is This Clown Unnerving?

  1. Yes
  2. YES

D4 Type

  1. White Face- Full white face, most extravagantly dressed, the “Top Banana” clown
  2. Auguste- or a Red Clown, tends to be the dimmer recipient of White Face’s shenanigans
  3. Character- Somewhere between White and Red in the Clown Hierarchy, usually parodies some profession.
    1. Clown Firefighter
    2. Clown Doctor
    3. Clown Cop
    4. Sporty Clown
    5. Clown Butcher
    6. Clown Parent
  4. Tramp- The down on their luck clown, ragged and drooping, they are perhaps the most human of the clowns.

 

D6 Aesthetic

    1. Rodeo 
    2. Mime
    3. Children’s Party
    4. Big Top
    5. Harlequin
    6. MURDER

 

D8 Wig Color

  1. Cherry Red
  2. Venom Green
  3. Biohazard yellow
  4. Tang Orange
  5. Bioluminescent Blue
  6. Midnight Indigo
  7. Octarine, go away violet
  8. Rainbow, of course

522 Black And White Clown Illustrations & Clip Art - iStock

D10 Style

  1. Clean Jokes
  2. Not-so-clean Jokes
  3. Physical Comedy
  4. Physical Comedy that is constantly botched and accompanied with a litany of clownish curses 
  5. Laughs at literally everything 
  6. Parodying other circus acts
  7. Improv
  8. Audience Participation
  9.  Sideshow Acts- Fire eating, Human Blockhead, sword swallowing etc.
  10. Roll Twice, Combine?

 

D10 Outfit Accoutrements

  1. Ruffle
  2. Oversized Trousers
  3. Rainbow Suspenders 
  4. “Funny” buttons’
  5. Huge tie/bowtie
  6. Long striped stockings
  7. A tiny hat with or without flower
  8. Suitcase of “gags”
  9. Garish jumpsuit with fuzzy pom poms
  10. Roll 3 times

 

D12 Other Circus Skill

  1. Animal Tamer
  2. Acrobat
  3. Juggler
  4. Trapeze
  5. Globe of Death
  6. “Human” Cannonball
  7. High Wire
  8. Knife Throwing
  9. Trick Riding
  10. Contortion
  11. Orchestra
  12. Prestidigitation

 

D20 Clown Gear

  1. Large Liquid Spraying Daisy or Bowtie, alternatively a Seltzer Bottle
  2. Colorful Juggling Pins
  3. A small pump and a seemingly endless supply of long balloons
  4. 1d100 helium balloons, or enough to make someone airborne 
  5. Spring loaded peanut can filled with
    1. Fake snakes/spiders
    2. Real snakes/spiders
    3. Glitter and Confetti
    4. Shaving or Whipped Cream
    5. A very tiny pie
    6. A screaming/laughing jack-in-the-box head
  6. Oversized white gloves, somehow significantly more deft than not cartoonishly bloated hands
  7. All clowns have clown shoes, but these clown shoes
    1. Have springs for bouncing
    2. Are exceptionally large and thick
    3. Can dance on their own
    4. Are painted in clown make up and have individual personalities
    5. Automatically seek the nearest slippery surface or banana peel
    6. Can be thrown and caught like a boomerang. 
  8. Punch and Judy style puppet
  9. Too many whoopee cushions 
  10. Rubber Chickens
  11. Noise Maker
    1. Kazoo
    2. Party Horn
    3. Confetti Poppers
    4. Bike horn
    5. Megaphone
    6. Accordion
  12. A prop gun that unfolds a BANG flag
  13. An observably infinite amount of colored handkerchiefs on a string
  14. Groucho Disguise Kit
  15. A Circus “bike”
    1. Unicycle
    2. Sized for a toddler
    3. A Tall Bike
    4. Eccentric Wheeled
    5. Comes apart easily
    6. Is made to be ridden 1d20 extra clowns
  16. Joybuzzer 
  17. A lighter and a can of “quick acting beans”
  18. Itching Powder
  19. Wind Up Chattering Teeth, may or may not be the clown’s own teeth
  20. All of it

280 Clowns for Grandma ideas | send in the clowns, clown, circus clown

D100 Quirks

  1. Can produce cartoonish bombs at will, roll for effect at random. The clown is immune to the effects of the bombs beyond comedic appearances (such as covered in soot and smoking)
    1. Confetti explosion
    2. Screamer firework, Save or deaf 1 round
    3. Paint Bomb
    4. Smoke Bomb
    5. Cherry Bomb, 1d6 
    6. Black Bomb, as Maximized Fireball
  2. “Speaks” only through whistles, gestures, and honking
  3. Is Dead, followed by 5d20(exploding) circus themed mourners.
  4. Only exists in your dreams, what you see before you is a waking phantom. 
  5. Is not a clown at all, but rather the owner of a Clown Skin. The wearer of a Clown Skin will be immune to all scrutiny and are, by all accounts, socially invisible.
  6. This may in all ways seem to be a clown, but is actually the fruiting body of a bizarre fungus
  7. Has spring arms with a maximum stretch length equal to a crossbow, may or may not have punching glove hands
  8. Has extremely long legs that could be mistaken for stilts
  9. Is the MC of their Circus and is able to Command other clowns as an evil cleric may with Undead
  10. Is a Sacred Clown or Sacred Fool, their clowning is ritualistically necessary to ensure the proper functioning of the world and are qualified to Eat Sins
  11. Reproduces by laughing in large groups of other clowns, the laughing eventually coalesces into a “Junior Joey,” that is, a young clown.
  12. Is actually trying their very best to be serious and doesn’t think anything is funny, however they are unintentionally hilarious all the time
  13. Was genetically engineered by a secret government program and escaped in a night of fire and fear. Is also strangely horrified of cats. 
  14. Played Old Deuteronomy in Cats before their untimely downfall and a deal with a sinister entity
  15. Their make up serves a similar purpose to peacock feathers on their home planet.
  16. Is a master contortionist and escape artist
  17. Can lift anything as long as it would be comical for them to be able to lift it
  18. Can become completely immovable ala an Immovable Rod
  19. Can consume a fire of any size and spit it out at a later time.
  20. Can squeeze through any crack large enough to fit their nose
  21. Is currently on the run from Clown-Skinners and will owe a deep debt of gratitude to anyone who can protect/hide them
  22. Has added their Soul to the Registry in the form of an egg painted with their face. As long as the egg exists, the clown can come back from death by painting their unique makeup on anyone’s face. Do not attempt to incubate a clown egg
  23. Is not a clown at all and is very annoyed you’ve made an assumption about their skin condition
  24. Cannot be harmed if they can make a prat out of the pain
  25. Has a spring loaded boxing glove hidden on their person, it hits really friggin hard
  26. Is in fact 1d6+1 clowns in a bigger clown suit
  27. Honking its nose will
    1. Produce a high frequency honk that shatters nearby glass and rattles teeth
    2. Communicate subsonically with other clowns with 50 miles
    3. Deactivate or deactivate the clown
    4. Cause the clown to teleport 50’ in a random direction
    5. Reproduce a level 1 magical effect at random
    6. Cause the clown to messily explode into glittery and banana cream
  28. Had access to Hammerspace and the entire Acme Catalog
  29. Is a trained medical professional, laughing in their presence heals 1d6 HP and has a 1-in-20 chance of curing any disease. Works once per unique encounter.
  30. Is a demon cursed into this form until it can make 777 mortals truly happy
  31. Is a Ghost Clown, died in a tragic accident involving a cannon, three monkeys and a very hard to open pickle jar
  32. Moonlights as a heavy metal vocalist, doesn’t even have to change make up
  33. Is a Wereclown and laughing at it has a 1-in-20 chance of infecting you with coulrothropy
  34. Bounces regardless of how hard it falls or is hit, effectively immune to blunt trauma
  35. Comes with a clown car and 1d100 (exploding) more clowns
  36. Can be cut to pieces and reassembled to no detriment to the clown itself
  37. Has complete subjective control of its weight/mass, allowing it to float or weight a ton at will. Carries an umbrella
  38. Can change and meld their face into anything given time and a makeup kit
  39. Comes with a trained and especially savvy elephant
  40. Can blow into their thumbs to inflate any part of their body for comical (or devastating) effect
  41. Has mastered Miming and is capable of forming invisible physical objects that function as long as anyone observing the clown believes the “illusion”
  42. Is an Omega Tier Mime and is capable of forming invisible physical objects that function regardless of anyone’s belief. 
  43. Is the God-Clown, possesses the means of mass destruction and the wisdom of when to unleash it. Does not follow a remotely human moral compass. 
  44. Can throw a cream pie so hard it breaks the sound barrier
  45. Is actually a mind controlling parasite in the shape of a puffy red nose
  46. Is part of an elite force of vampire hunters, possessing an airship of course
  47. Works in a clown themed food truck, roll up three more clowns
  48. Is a Trickster Deity in disguise
  49. Is a Red Skeleton underneath all that make up
  50. Drives an ice cream truck in a demolition derby on the weekends
  51. Was (is?) a Wizard (hence the conical hat) that went too deep into the Mad (of the Mad-Sad spectrum of magic) 
  52. Nose can glow at 100,000 lumens
  53. Does their act with a really really terrible…horse?
  54. May or may not be over a thousand years old and holds an aristocratic title…like Earl or something
  55. Is actually a Novelty Zombie in a clown suit
  56. Is the mascot for a fast food chain, they sell…I dunno hotdogs or something
  57. Is a Geliovore, that is they eat laughter. They can’t stomach anything else
  58. Can perfectly mimic actions and voices
  59. Those spring eyes are real.
  60. Has Mark Hamill’s laugh
  61. Is an expert flatulist
  62. Can swallow and regurgitate anything smaller than the circumference of their ruff. Might actually be a snakeperson
  63. Is actually sliced from a log of “Clown Meat” and molded into shape before each show. 
  64. Is bound by sacred oath to the Eight Clown Commandments 
  65. Can make jokes about someone so scathing that they can literally cut (As Great Ax, because why not)
  66. Can belch (or the other thing) with gale force 
  67. Is a ‘Pataphysician from the 5th Dimension. No this does not mean they’re banished if they say their name backwards, but they might do it to humor you.
  68. Can only speak in riddles and rhymes 
  69. Is disturbingly sexy?
  70. Is the Clown Prince of
    1. Crime
    2. Grime
    3. Lime
    4. The Sublime
    5. Time
    6. Rhyme
  71. When not directly observed, the Clown can teleport to any location it could theoretically jump out of and surprise someone
  72. Can de-age anyone they interact with for more than 1d6 minutes into a child aged 6-11
  73. KNOWS YOUR FEARS AND CAN BECOME THEM
  74. Is an Ontological Lie
  75. Is an MIB Abomination 
  76. Possesses 20 magical masks
  77. Is owned a favor by a certain seal for releasing all the circus seals.
  78. Has pockets full of…humor helpers. They’re drugs.
  79. Was a successful merchant before a witch stole their name and gave them something silly.
  80. Is a sad clown in an iron lung
  81. Is a master of confusion fu
  82. Is steam powered and has a small calliope installed in their chest
  83. Is made of candy, like candy cane legs and a heart of nougat 
  84. Has a crown made of tin cans and tape
  85. May actually be the final boss whenever they get the chance to collect the Seven 
  86. Given time, can create nearly any object (with full functionality) out of balloons
  87. Is in fact a Fairy who knows all the world’s a stage
  88. Can shrink to fit into a pocket or grow to the size of two elephants standing on each other’s shoulders
  89. Can throw cards like shurikens and various other card tricks
  90. Has an exceptionally large squeaky hammer that can weigh 10 tons if the clown so chooses.
  91. Is a tulpa formed from the noosphere
  92. This is actually the natural form of a doppelganger if let to mature without taking a human life.
  93. Is a clone of a famous individual, disguised until they’re needed.
  94. Has a mouth that opens and closes vertically
  95. Gloves hide:
    1. Claws
    2. Cactus hands
    3. Hooks
    4. Tentacles
    5. Mouth-Fingers
    6. Feet
  96. Permanent Helium voice
  97. Carries the entire circus with them via a magical full body tattoo
  98. Is a rogue animatronic
  99. Roll here for each clown you can think of
  100. HONK HOOOOOK HOOOOOOOOK Ḥ̷̨͎̻͎̠̮͕̣̃́̓̊̈́̓͂̒̃̽͑̍̏͠ ̴̗̻̮̄͆̂́́͗̈́͝O̴̢̢̡̳̻̭͇̜͙͇͚͕͉̗̜̒̃̈́͆̈́̓̀̃̈́͝ ̸̨̩͔̻̝̜̭̣̰̬̋̈́͗̓͆͌̾͛͐̈͋Ṅ̸̛̛̘̝̜̗̝͔̲̪̗͈̻̲̽̍́͐̓̅͝͝ͅ ̶̹̝̯͕̗͓̞̯͎͚̫̤͂̉͐K̵̢̯̟̝̘̱̝̘͍̻̯̩͍͕̰̋̀̑͐̎̏̎̉̈́

 

Clown Running by Marion Peck
Clowns by Joseph Kutter

Clowns by Joseph Kutter

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